You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
