So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
