I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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