we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
