dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I need a beard to bite.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
