I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
