Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
