We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
