We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
