Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
