I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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