Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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