it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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