He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
