Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
