i used baking grease as lip gloss
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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