just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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