I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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