just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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