I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
