Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
