my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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