So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
