How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
