3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
