Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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