I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
PANTIES FOUND
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
