PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sorry about my life...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
