how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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