you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
