We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
