If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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