he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can't turn off my feet"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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