Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The air was thick with penises
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
