Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
