at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
