Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
