I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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