ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
