Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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