I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
