I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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