He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
