There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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