I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
