The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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