fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
