i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I believe in your delicious
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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