Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
