Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
