Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
