i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
