Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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