you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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