my vag is so smooth its legendary
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
