I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
